The Cobblesworth Gazette
News & forecourt gossip
Updates from the showroom, the workshop, and Biscuit's security division. Published whenever we remember the password.
It boiled approximately 14,000 cuppas and heard every single deal we've ever done. A moment of silence, please.
After nearly a decade of tireless service, our showroom kettle has been ceremonially retired. It was presented with a small plaque and an even smaller pension.
The replacement kettle, a German model, boils faster but reportedly 'lacks the soul' of its predecessor. Sales remain unaffected.
Fresh from a magistrate's garage in Hertfordshire. It has done 61,000 miles, all of them disappointingly sensible.
We're delighted to welcome a 1968 Albion Viscount to the showroom. It arrived under its own power, which frankly surprised everyone including the driver.
The previous owner assures us it has 'never been raced, rallied, or involved in anything remotely interesting'. Full details on the inventory page.
Step one: ask nicely. Step two: choke. Step three: apologise to the neighbours.
Winter and classic cars have a relationship best described as 'complicated'. Our workshop has compiled its annual advice, which remains unchanged since 1974: coax, don't demand.
Other tips include a warm blanket for the engine, a warmer blanket for yourself, and accepting that it will start eventually, on its own terms, like a cat.
Biscuit, our Head of Security, maintained a flawless record of not noticing a single thing.
Congratulations are due to Biscuit, our resident Head of Security, who yesterday slept through an entire delivery, two test drives, and a man in a very loud jacket.
She remains employee of the month for the forty-seventh consecutive month. The competition has formally conceded.
A brief history of optimism, oil leaks, and an unreasonable attachment to the colour purple.
Founded in 1963 by Reginald Harris — a man who bought a bankrupt coachbuilder by accident while trying to purchase a sandwich — our firm has grown steadily in the way of ivy: slowly, and mostly sideways.
Three generations later, the sandwiches are better and the cars are still magnificent. Thank you for pretending along with us.